


Goddammit, Roman!

by Very_Anxious_Bean



Series: The Sides as Roommates [5]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Loses a Bet, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is Done, Based on True Events, Blood and Injury, Deceit Sanders and Morality | Patton Sanders Are Twins, Dr. Emile Picani is a Doctor at the Hospital, Gen, Goddammit Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Hospital Visit, Injury, Major Character Injury, Mentioned Sleep | Remy Sanders, Money, Pain, Poor Life Choices, Stupidity, Thank God Most of Them Have Good Jobs, The Doctors Are Used To This Now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-12 18:03:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19950532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Very_Anxious_Bean/pseuds/Very_Anxious_Bean
Summary: Roman doesn't get injured for over a day, then he breaks the record and the family gets to see Dr. Emile Picani again. None of them are amused.





	Goddammit, Roman!

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS! ARE! IN! THE! TAGS! NO SKIPPING
> 
> Deceit is Eden, in case you haven't read any of my other fics

The family was grocery shopping right. Yes, the whole family. All seven of them, just in case something crazy happened again. Right now, Patton was looking at crisps. 

Patton spotted Remus at the end of the aisle, "Remus, do you want any crisps-"

"I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR DORITOS!" Remus shouted at the top of his lungs. He grinned at Patton, who was regretting some life decisions with a blank smile, before running off. 

"Alright," Patton muttered, standing on his tiptoes and grabbing some Doritos. He put them in the trolley and left the aisle to get some other things. He ignored the stares from other shoppers.

"Pat!" Roman called. He ran full speed, jumping onto the trolley and wincing. "Ouch! Anyway-"

"Did you just hurt yourself again?"

"Yes. Anyway, Remus won't stop annoying me!" 

Patton took a deep breath, "He's your twin. And you hurt yourself again. What did you do?" 

"Jumped onto the trolley." 

"Roman."

"Okay, okay!" Roman chuckled, "I think I did something with my fingernail. It's fine, we can keep shopping and then check it out." 

"Are you sure, Ro?" 

"Mhm!" Roman smiled, his middle finger wrapped with his black shirt. He usually didn't wear black with his brighter jacket but his other shirts weren't clean.

Patton found Virgil and Eden in the wine section. Again. 

"Dee, you are not getting more wine." 

"What if-"

"I know you're going to say something about buying it with your own money, and the answer's still no." 

"You're not my dad," Eden said. 

"I'm older. Respect your elders." 

Eden groaned loudly, "Three minutes!"

Patton looked unimpressed, "Still older. Put it back."

"I'm an adult," Eden huffed as he lazily put the bottle back. 

"You still live with me, and I've been older for our whole life."

Eden walked away from the alcohol, snickering when Patton started to argue with Virgil about _him_ getting alcohol.

"Eden's going to drink it!" 

Virgil smirked, the smug look directed at Eden, "Not if I lock it like he locked the cleaning supplies." 

"You will _not_!" Eden hissed. 

Virgil's smirk was a bit creepy now, " _Watch me_."

Patton grabbed Eden's wrist, keeping him from tackling Virgil. "I'm not paying for that."

Virgil grinned, "Sweet!" and he walked away. 

After getting the rest of the groceries and finding everyone else (Patton had to be their impulse control), they finally left the shop.

Roman peeked at his finger and his eyes went wide. "Oh. Hey, uh, Pat?" 

Patton hummed in acknowledgment, still putting groceries in the car with the help of others. 

"Can we go to Urgent Care real quick?" Roman chuckled, "The top half of my fingernail is- uh, it kinda... ripped off."

" _What_?!" Patton hit his head on the car. He winced and went to Roman, checking his fingernail. 

Virgil peeked over Patton's shoulder, made a noise in the back of his throat, and slipped into the car. 

"Yeah, let's go." 

So it turned out that Roman needed to go to the hospital since the people at the Emergency Room were "unsure of the consequences of removing the rest of the nail." 

Virgil and Eden called them cowards. Remus didn't shut up about what it looked like. 

"Roman Prince and the family, you all can come with me. Again." A voice said. 

"Oh! Hi, Emile!" Roman said.

The family got up and followed the doctor to a bed and Emile got some things. 

"So, I'm going to remove the rest of your nail because of your idiocy," Emile said. 

"That's kinda rude for a doctor," Roman muttered. 

"You didn't show up yesterday, I thought you either died or grew up. Turns out it was neither." 

Roman winced as Emile cleaned his half-missing fingernail. "What's got you in a sour mood, doc?"

"Well, a patient who came in drunk and bleeding from a stab wound would _not_ stop flirting with me." 

"That sounds like Remy. Do you know Remy Starbrooke?" 

Emile sighed, "Yep, that's him. Non-stop flirting."

"Yeah, he'll flirt with anyone who's attractive." 

"Count down from ten for me." 

Roman only made it to seven when he yelped and Emile wrapped his finger. 

"Good job, Roman."

"You scared me!" 

Emile raised an eyebrow, "And you scared me the first twenty times you showed up here. And that's why you don't do stupid things, kids." 

Roman pouted as Emile said to _not_ injure his finger again (or he'll make their least favourite doctor work with them for a month) and gave Remus pointed looks. 

They left the hospital. 

"Oh, I nearly forgot," Logan suddenly said as they entered their home. He turned to Virgil with a subtle smug look, "Pay up." 

Virgil huffed, reaching into his pocket and pulling out fifty bucks. "Goddammit, Roman." 

"What did I do?!" 

"Made me lose a bet." 

"You-" Roman blinked- "you bet on me getting injured?!"

"Sometimes. It was only me and Logan this time-"

"This time? Are you fucking serious?"

"Language!" Patton called from the kitchen.

"- and you miraculously survived a bit over a day without injury," Virgil finished. He walked to the kitchen, putting his whiskey in a tall cabinet and locking it. 

Eden narrowed his eyes at Virgil, putting the bread in the box. 

Virgil grinned and stuck his tongue out.


End file.
